An Analysis by The Weird Leviathan
I won’t lie; I love Lady Gaga. It’s a guilty pleasure. Whenever her songs come on, I want to sing along. Then I stop. I think, and my English major instincts take over. There is a meaning behind her songs that we haven’t been paying attention to—a meaning other than the fashion interpretation of her latest hat made from endangered animals. I listened to Alejandro twelve times and still couldn’t find it. Then I got completely hammered. The thirteenth time, everything made sense.
The entire song is about Lady Gaga getting cat calls from Hispanic construction workers. It’s all there, right in front of us, and it took this long to finally figure it out. I think the biggest obstacle to understanding the true nature of her song was the distracting nature of her music video. That was some weird shit, and I don’t think it had anything to do with the actual song, but I guess that’s how the work of a genius is. Let’s not question it. Also, I refuse to review that video, because it was by far the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. Do not watch it alone, do not watch it in the dark, and do not say “Lady Gaga” three times into the mirror in your bathroom with the lights off after watching it. So without further ado, let’s begin our Journey to the Center of Gaga.
I know that we are young
And I know that you may love me
But I just can't be with you like this anymore
Alejandro
This is just setup. She’s letting us know that she’s young, she’s sought after, and she wants no part of it. Personally I don’t understand why she doesn’t take it as a compliment, but when you go through the trouble of making an entire dress out of meat, I guess you want to be appreciated for something other than your looks.
She's got both hands
In her pocket
And she won't look at you (won't look at you)
So she’s giving them the cold shoulder, but it’s not working. Even with her hands on a concealed bottle of mace, she’s getting cat calls.
She hides true love
En su bolsillo
My Spanish is noticeably rusty considering I’ve never taken a Spanish class, but I’d be willing to bet this loosely translates to, “stop staring at my ass.”
She's got a halo around her finger
Around you
For the first time, we understand why Lady Gaga isn’t receptive to the cat calls—she knows that the construction workers have wives and girlfriends, and she doesn’t want to come between them. The use of the word ‘halo’ here denotes a religious significance. She understands the sanctity of marriage, and she doesn’t want to be the one to violate that trust. Wow. Genius and an upstanding moral code. Lady Gaga for President 2012!
You know that I love you, boy
Hot like Mexico
Rejoice
At this point I've gotta choose
Nothing to lose
This expands on her feelings toward the construction workers. She really does love them, but even then she’s unwilling to compromise her moral code for the sake of a quick fling. She knows that she has nothing to lose, but that they do, and that builds the crescendo toward the chorus, giving us a glimpse into the sadness she must feel, but also the sense of duty.
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe
Fernando
Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette, hush
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Roberto
Yeah, what did I tell you? Powerful stuff. Really powerful stuff. Not only is she turning down Alejandro, but Fernando and Roberto as well. The night club beat and dance pace of the song hides her broken heart.
Alejandro
Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro-e-ro
Stop
Please, just let me go
Alejandro
Just let me go
You can practically hear the desperation in her voice when you read these. You can hear it even better if you listen to the actual song.
She's not broken
She's just a baby
But her boyfriend's like her dad
Just like a dad
And all those flames that
Burned before him
Now he's gotta firefight
Gotta cool the bad
She’s using the third person to talk about herself, the way someone says that ‘a friend of theirs’ had a lesbian affair, you know, just once. Or the way someone says ‘a friend of mine’ killed a hobo and wanted to know if burying it beneath a freeway seemed too obvious or just obvious enough. She introduces another motive for not wanting the construction workers to pursue her—she’s going out with her own father and doesn’t want anyone to know. Because her boyfriend’s like a dad, just like a dad. You know what’s just like a dad? A dad. Bam. So obvious and yet so subtle. I wish I could write lyrics like she can.
Although I don’t want to if going out with my own dad is somehow part of the deal.
You know that I love you boy
Hot like Mexico
Rejoice
At this point I've gotta choose
Nothing to lose
Just a reprise. Nothing new. OR IS IT? Yeah, it’s just another setup to remind us of the pain of Gaga as she spurns her suitors.
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe
Fernando
Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette, hush
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Roberto
Alejandro
Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro-e-ro
Don't bother me
Don't bother me
Alejandro
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Bye Fernando
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe
Alejandro
Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch
Fernando
Okay, you see how the stanza above is different from the regular chorus and then reverts back to the old chorus below? No? Read them and then come back to this. Good. This is a very important and minor detail that gives away so much more about her situation. She changes and then goes back. She tries to stop the cat calls once and for all. She tries to move on, then just when she thinks she’s out, she gets dragged back in. It’s a commentary on the cyclical nature not only of Mexican cat calls, but of love itself.
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe
Fernando
Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette, hush
Don't call my name
Don't call my name
Roberto
Alejandro
Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro-e-ro
There you have it—irrefutable proof that her song is not about homosexuality at all as she claims, but has a deeper meaning, one that isn’t afraid to say, stop staring at my ass. By assessing her own situation with her father and with the men giving her cat calls, she’s assessing the essence of love with a depth that hasn’t been seen since Shakespeare and won’t be seen again until the ghost of Freddy Mercury rises from the dead to rock the world once more.
He took the band’s name very seriously when designing his costumes.
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